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Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Locusts at the Gate Chapter 2: A New Name Chapter 3: The Capital Prepares Chapter 4: The Princess is Dead, Long Live the Princess Chapter 5: Outside the Gates Chapter 6: Inside the Black Tent Chapter 7: Surrender at the Temple Chapter 8: The Cult of the Locust Chapter 9: The Locust's Tenets of Faith Chapter 10: Mourners on the Cliff Chapter 11: The Eye of Betrayal Chapter 12: The Dead King's Bedchamber Chapter 13: The Arms of the Goddess Chapter 14: Zayaan of the Narim Chapter 15: The Eyes of the Priestess Chapter 16: A More Permanent Disguise Chapter 17: Tribute Chapter 18: Sacrifice of the New Moon Chapter 19: The Lost Bird Chapter 20: Manah and the Priestess Chapter 21: Desert Creatures Chapter 22: Become the Swarm Chapter 23 The Price of Betrayal Chapter 24: Life Under the Locust Chapter 25: Wild Rose Chapter 26: The Lady Wren Chapter 27: Thought and Desire Chapter 28: The Lady's Captivity Chapter 29: The Wine Maiden Chapter 30: End of Childhood Chapter 31: The Children of Aisha Chapter 32: The Forest Runner Chapter 33: Three Sisters Chapter 34: The Hunt Chapter 35: Bones in the Forest Chapter 36: Lullaby Chapter 37: The Hunter's Horn Chapter 38: Ways Between Ways Chapter 39: Morning Star Chapter 40: A Prophecy for Baraz Chapter 41: Equinox Fires Chapter 42: The Lord Prince Takri Chapter 43: Evening Star Sets Chapter 44: Chaos in the Courtyard Chapter 45: Dasha Chapter 46: Memories Chapter 47: The Body Slave Chapter 48: Caged Beasts Chapter 49: Message from the Capital Chapter 50: Heresiarch Chapter 51: The Color of Blood Chapter 52: Winter Winds Chapter 53: The Bookmaker's Closet Chapter 54: Wrapped in Dignity and Beauty Chapter 55: Vessel of the Goddess Chapter 56: Cracks in the Walls Chapter 57: Two Brothers Chapter 58: The Court of Women Chapter 59: Favored of the King Chapter 60: The Sweetest Fruit Chapter 61: Daughter of the Temple Chapter 62: A Nation of Bastards Chapter 63: The Lute Player Chapter 64: Aisha's Prayer Chapter 65: Promises Chapter 66: Lives Lost Chapter 67: The Tea Maker Chapter 68: Object of Desire Chapter 69: Empty Shelves Chapter 70: Darkness and Light Chapter 71: The Love of Men Chapter 72: The Cursed Ones Chapter 73: Hiding Places Chapter 74: Old Men's Tales Chapter 75: False Prophecies Chapter 76: The Lord Prince Radu Chapter 77: Love Becomes Life Chapter 78: Mistress and Mother Chapter 79: A Test of Strength Chapter 80: The Strigoi-Viu Cometh Chapter 81: Scraps from the Table Chapter 82: A Fool's Errand Chapter 83: The Little Ghost Chapter 84: Stolen Honeycakes Chapter 85: Breathe Chapter 86: Beneath the Palace Chapter 87: Red Pebbles Chapter 88: Common Men Chapter 89: Love and Duty Chapter 90: Nightmares Chapter 91: Earth and Sun Chapter 92: Love and Creation Chapter 93: Until My Last Breath Chapter 94: Fruit and Flower Chapter 95: Two Days Chapter 96: Small Comforts Chapter 97: Heroes Chapter 98: Fire, Water, and Wax Chapter 99: Beneath the Temple Chapter 100: the Way of Eagles

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Chapter 68: Object of Desire

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Morning in the women's dormitory came too early after late night promises in front of the brothel's kitchen fire. Aisha and Nasreen woke to the sound of the women readying themselves for the day.  Aisha pulled off her sleeping clothes to change into her workday robes, now made of wool instead of linen. And like every morning, she placed her undergarments at the foot of the bed for inspection by the Holy Mother and her Eyes. 

Nasreen still lay abed, exhausted from the horrors of the previous day in the palace and her frozen night hiding in the shadows of the streets.  Her entire body ached, and her fingers burned.  Darkness shadowed the delicate skin beneath her eyes. The fire of rebellion sparked the night before had dimmed under the tremors of fever that wracked her body. 

"I wish you felt better, Nasreen," said Aisha before dropping her voice to a whisper. "I found something else in the library while you were gone.  Drawings of the temple and the palace as they were when they were first built.  And some maps of the catacombs under the city." 

Nasreen managed a small smile.  "I can't wait to see them when I feel a bit better." 

"I think it can help us escape," whispered Aisha.  "Or find the river of tears and Thought." 

"We can talk later," said Nasreen.  "Once the Holy Mother finishes her inspection I am going to go back to sleep.  I feel horrible." 

"I hope she isn't awful to you," said Aisha.  "You didn't do anything wrong!" 

"If I look as bad as I feel, I am sure she will have mercy on me," said Nasreen through chattering teeth. 

"Do you want me to bring you some food?" asked Aisha.  "It's just thin porridge. It should be easy on your stomach. You hardly ate last night." 

Nasreen swallowed hard and shook her head.  "No, thank you. I am sure I will be hungry once I feel better." 

"I will keep some of my rations back for you from breakfast, just in case you change your mind," said Aisha as she hurried off to get her morning portion of food.  "Tell the Holy Mother where I am if she asks." 

Nasreen nodded and managed to sit up on her pallet as the high priestess and the girl who served as her eyes stopped for inspection. 

"There is no blood for the bookmaker Aisha," said the eyes. 

"That is to be expected," said the Holy Mother.  "And what of the prostitute, Nasreen?  Is she here?" 

"Yes, Holy Mother," said the eyes.  "She appears to be stricken with fever and chills.  She still lies abed." 

"Is there blood?" asked the Holy Mother.  "This would be her normal time of the month." 

"She does not have her underclothes ready for inspection," said the eyes.  "I fear she may be too ill to undress in this cold, Holy Mother." 

"Help me to sit upon her pallet," said the old woman.  Her guide obliged, helping her to the floor where Nasreen was wrapped in her blankets.  The Holy Mother laid her hand upon Nasreen's forehead.  "She is burning inside.  Leave us, so that I may pray for her." 

"As you wish," said the guide, excusing herself to join the other women by the fire. 

"I am sorry," said Nasreen.  "The procuress told me you would be angry with me." 

"She did, did she?  Your procuress is always ready to think the worst of her friend Dasha," said the Holy Mother.  "I am not angry, Nasreen.  But I am disappointed that you would put yourself in such danger by seducing the Narim Prince. It was foolish to give more than your body to him." 

"He came to me," said Nasreen.  "How can I refuse him?  You tell us we must obey, and I did.  I did not ask for his attentions." 

The high priestess shook her head.  "You do not understand these foreign men.  Men, even our men, are run by the very basest of emotions.  They are controlled by their desires.  And these foreigners even more so. It falls upon us to curb those desires when they turn destructive.” 

“My whole life, I wanted to serve as a vessel of the Goddess, just as my mother did,” explained Nasreen. “How am I to serve as prostitute of the temple and not incite desire?” 

“I remember your mother when she served here,” said the old woman.  “She had so much love and life inside her she burned like a signal fire.  Women and men alike flocked to her like moths to a flame.  She was desirable, and she desired pleasure, just like you.  But here is the difference. You do not serve in a holy temple brothel as a vessel for the Goddess' healing love.  You serve as a common whore.  An object and plaything for men who are slaves to their bodily desires.  Men who only want to control and hurt you.  You cannot be like your mother while Adyll is under the rule of the Locusts." 

Nasreen shivered under her blankets.  "What can I do? I do not know how to change." 

"Do you think the Lord Prince will call for you again?" asked the Holy Mother. 

"I do not think he will," said Nasreen.  "The strigoi-viu made it very plain that he found me lacking in every aspect.  The Lord Prince Takri seemed to agree." 

"I hope this is true," said the old woman.  "We do not need any attention from Mahleck or any member of the royal house upon any of us here." 

"What is to be my punishment?" said Nasreen through chattering teeth. 

"I think you have been punished already," said the high priestess.  "When you are well, we will talk again.  Have your courses started yet?" 

"No, Holy Mother." 

"Do you think you could be with child?" asked the old woman, suddenly concerned.  "In your line of work it is always a risk." 

"No, Holy Mother," said Nasreen. 

The old woman took Nasreen's hands in her own.  "If you are pregnant, the risk to us all is too great.  And if you are pregnant with the Lord Prince's child, Goddess help us all.  Do you understand, daughter?" 

"Yes, Holy Mother." 

"Do not speak of this to anyone," said the old woman.  "Not to the procuress, and especially not to Aisha.  You have three days.  If your courses have not begun by then, you will take the herbs, fever or no.  Agreed?" 

"They have a word for children born to playthings like me," said Nasreen.  "They call them bastards.  A slur for all those who are born fatherless.  If I was with child, they would only hate me all the more." 

The old woman's demeanor suddenly changed from one of concern to anger. "You underestimate the power to bear children, child. How men wish to control that ability.  You are too young.  You will take the herbs when the time comes.  There is no other choice." 

"Yes, Holy Mother." 

"Good girl."  The high priestess patted Nasreen's hand before pulling herself back upright with her staff.  "I am glad we understand each other." 

As the old woman hobbled away towards the fire and her eyes, Nasreen pulled the blankets tighter around her and let her tears fall where no one could see them. When Aisha returned with food, Nasreen was asleep dreaming of a life she could never have. 

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