Chapter 29 

Which sapient species are classified as Sophic Species is a matter of great debate. There are the indisputable species: Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Ceangar, and Gnomes. In short, the hairless apes, as many other species refer to them. But there are dozens more species that try to claim the title to some degree of success. The Primals earned a place when they earned their freedom on the continent of Kasis (the setting for this story). But there are other species whose right to civility can vary from nation to nation, city to city, and person to person. Some, but by no means, not all of these species are. The Dracose, the Anarians, the Kassivar, and even the Aquarians. To be considered among the Sophic Species is to be given even the minimum of respect, and those without it are often not even thought to have rights and can be treated like animals.

Day 200 Quenchenday

“Nice get up,” teased Nel as we each collected our food in the dining hall.

I was dressed in excessively baggy forest green cargo pants, a black T-shirt emblazoned with a mechanical heart under a worn leather jacket, my tactical gauntlet on my right hand, and sneakers. “Har, har, har. You’re so funny, Nel. These are just what Thallos gave me, alright. Shirts, shoes, and cargo pants. Lots of cargo pants.”

“Why cargo pants? Does he have a fetish or something?” She asked as we took our slop that they called food from the line and made our way to our corner table.

“Hell, if I know. He always says that they’re a must-have.”

“Must have for what? The pockets?”

I shrugged. “It’s the only thing I could think of, and all these pockets are pretty handy. Check this out.” As we reached the table, I set down my tray and began whipping things out of my pockets and setting them on the table. I produced a fist of gears and cogs, a case of small springs, three feet of wound cable, a coil of solder with matching soldering iron, a coil of mythril, a set of five raw quartz micro boards, and a fist full of Shard-sized kinetic and eclectic myst crystals. 

“Damn, dude! What’s with all this stuff? Are you planning on whipping together an airship this afternoon?” Nel teased.

I shot her a raised brow. “You underestimate me, dearest Nennel. I could quite easily whip together a weapon of lethal force from these fists full of assorted goods.” I said this totally deadpan, but inside, I was smirking and snickering.

“Oh, yeah?” Nel challenged. 

“I could cobble together a rather simple concussion bomb. Admittedly, I’d need a little more to make a timer, but I could set it with a dead man switch with what I’ve got here.”

“So you’re going to be a suicide bomber?” Nel teased.

“What in the hells is wrong with you, girl?! I was thinking of a booby trap!” I poked fun at her. “But if you really want to know, I was hoping to get some tinkering done today while we hung out. Speaking of, where are the other two?”

Nel slid into her seat and picked up a spoon full of something gray and lumpy that I think was supposed to be gravy. She answered me around a mouthful of the mystery substance. “Ferris has some make-up work to do today for his history class. Something about a failed class project and needing to make up the score through extracurricular activities. He should be free by lunch or ‘so he claims’.” She said this with air quotes. “But we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Got it.” I answered with a slow nod while I tried to puzzle out what my meal was. I stabbed something purple and squishy with my fork that I first thought was a noodle, but quickly found it was a tentacle. I brought the rubbery limb to my nose, daring to test the smell. It didn’t smell bad per se, but it definitely did not smell like seafood. “And what about Rose? I haven’t seen her for a good bit.”

“We’ve seen her around. She seems fine, but whenever you get brought up, she gets... weird.” She waved her spoon in circles like a wand as she spoke.

“Weird, how?” I pressed while trying not to seem too eager. I didn’t dare hope that she saw me in a new light now. I didn’t dare, and yet I still did, deep down. I hoped she had feelings for me as I had for her.

“Oh, she gets really dodgy around the topic of you and tries to change the subject just as fast as the topic of you comes up. Speaking of, how is your training going?”

I reflexively clenched my teeth at the thought of Thallos and the training. “It’s been... rough.” I wasn’t allowed to mention the stab training or the role of Dark Hunter. “I’m managing to handle the training, if only just barely. Thallos is really putting me through the wringer.” 

“Really? What kind of training?” She pressed. 

I tried not to wince as I also tried to think of a quick answer that would sound reasonable and rational. It came to me in a moment of inspiration. “Most of it consists of him asking questions about things like history and social studies and the like. I have to answer while doing physical training like sword practice or pushups, and when I get an answer wrong, he smacks me with a riding crop.”

Nel visibly winced at the thought, and I felt like she understood what I was going through, even if it was only a fraction of understanding compared to the real thing. The answer wasn’t even technically a lie. That was what my training was until Thallos said his higher-ups wanted things sped up.

“Yawza! That sounds strict.” Nel said in sympathy.

“Oh, you have no idea, Nel. I’ve had almost no time to tinker. It’s been rough-” I was cut short by the sight of a black Tiger Primal head with copper hair leaving the hall. I shot to my feet and started making my way to follow. I shouted over my shoulder to Nel, “Give me a few! I just spotted Rose and just need to talk!”

While rushing to catch up, I wove between tables and passers-by as quickly as I could. I pushed through the double doors and spotted her not fifteen yards from me. I put on a burst of speed, shouting her name as I closed it. “Rose! Rose! What up! I want to talk!”

I saw her flinch. Her shoulders bunched, and her head lowered with flattened ears. I caught up to her just behind the Aegis Hall. She stopped and turned around to give me a timid smile. “Oh. Hey Iver. It’s been a while. How’ve things been?” She was half-turned to me, clutching the upper arm closest to me in the opposite hand and not meeting my eyes.

Something was definitely up. She was hiding something. It wouldn’t be impossible to tell a blush under all her fur, so I’d have to put my body reading skills to the test. “So I know I haven’t seen you in a bit, and I’m sorry about that. Thallos has been beating me into the ground every day I’m training with him. But I wanted to thank you for talking to Thallos about that packet I found. You have no idea how relieved I am that you knew he wouldn’t be pissed with me.” Her eyes flitted to mine before looking down at the ground between us. “It turns out the stuff was MyCast. Turns out Master Mystagogue Neckar has a condition that requires regular doses of the stuff.”

“That-that’s good to hear. I’m happy I could help. H-how have things been?” She fidgeted with her foot while she spoke, drawing circles in the dirt.

Stammering, fidgeting, not meeting my eyes, closed body posture. My best guess was that there was something that she wanted to say but was scared to. Had I gotten that intimidating since studying under Thallos? Well, if she wouldn’t breach the topic, I would.

“Well, training has been rough, but there was something else I wanted to talk about.” I started.

Her eyes flitted to mine again, for a longer moment this time. “Yeah, what’s that?”

I took a deep breath as I directly willed myself not to fidget, which is what my hands wanted to be doing at that moment. I locked my eyes with my shoes. “Well, you know, ever since that day you saved my ass from those thugs, I’ve always looked up to you. And you even took time to help me train on our off days, which means a lot to me. And you’re an awesome friend that I feel I can trust with just about anything.” I clenched my fists to stop my fingers from twitching as they tingled with my anxiety. “But you know, I was hoping that maybe we could… be more than friends.” The anxiety hit me then. Pain and tension grew in my chest like a compressed spring as I started to breathe faster. I could feel every movement of my eyes as they twitched, shifting my gaze from one spot to another on the dirt and grass, trying to take in everything at the same time as searching for any one thing to lock onto and hold my focus on.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Rose snarled.

“What?” I looked up and locked eyes with her and found a fire there hot enough to burn me.

“You don’t get it, do you, Iver? I don’t like you that way.” She hissed, “You took from me the open position I had spent the past two years trying to get.”

“What?” was all I could manage to say as my reality cracked.

“Thallos has been my hero since I was just a kid. Since when my father worked his last job, and he died. Thallos was the one who told my mother and me what happened. He promised that my father’s death was not in vain and had been avenged. THALLOS was my hero, and I swore that I was going to become his apprentice. But you took that from me.”

“What?” I uttered as my cracked reality splintered.

“Yes, you twit fucker! Thallos only ever takes one apprentice at a time, and you,” she pointed a clawed finger at me in accusation, “took that because of some fluke of nature. I’m the better fighter. I’m the one who has earned her Mastlok training in both Crimson Blade and Sightless Eye. But because you happen to have some random magic talent, you get the position. Why else do you think I talked to him this morning? I wanted him to find out about the drugs and for you to get the boot so I could take up your spot.” Every word was laced with vehement venom as she took bite after bite out of my hopes and trust.

It was with those words that made my splintered reality shattered completely. She never loved me or even liked me. Just the opposite. She hated me for going through the hellish training Thallos was putting me through. She wanted to be the one to get stabbed by him. She wanted that role so badly that she tried to have me kicked from the academy.

Tears streamed down my face. My legs went numb, and my hands started to shake uncontrollably. I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my head down so she couldn’t see my face. “I’m sorry.” My voice was shockingly calm, even to my ears as I spoke. “If I had known this, I wouldn’t have agreed to take the position. I’ll tell Thallos that I’m stepping down and that he should take you.”

She threw her fists down to either side of her. “DON’T LIE TO ME!” she howled. As she snapped at me, the surrounding airdropped to sub-zero. The grass around us froze and sprouted spiked barbs of ice, all in a perfect circle with her at the center of the formation. My tears froze mid-path down my face, and two hung from my jaw in mini icicles. I looked up at her in shock. She looked down, her own face written in shock. Without another word, she turned and fled the scene. I moved to follow but fell flat on my face in the jagged grass. My feet had been frozen to the ground.

Rose had magic? Rose had magic!

Had she been hiding it all this time? No way. She had no reason to hide something like that. Plus, if she had magic, why would she get upset about me having magic and having the position she wanted? She easily could have earned it herself and become a Dark Hunter. So how and why?

I couldn’t think of an answer. But I was still in shock from what she had done to me. So far in shock that I hadn’t noticed that my face was covered in minuscule gashes, my shirt was filled with dozens of small holes, and my hands were slashed to ribbons.

I crawled my way back up to my feet and thrashed against my restraints, but the ice held fast. I was forced to activate the blowtorch I had added the new tool to my tactical gauntlet only just the week before. I never thought I would be using it to free myself from ice, but I can’t deny that it was handy. But at that moment, I was emotionally numb. The wound was so fresh and opened so quickly that I was still processing what had happened.

As I staggered back into the DEFAC, my feet and mind were numb, and my face and hands were bloody. I slogged my way across the dining hall to my corner, only dimly aware of the stares I drew from anyone nearby as I passed through. When I reached my seat, I fell into it more than sat and just stared at my tray of food, not even caring what it was anymore. 

“Whoa, dude. What happened out there?” came Nel’s voice from right next to me, but she sounded far off. “You look like she took her claws to your face. Did you insult her dead father?” she jested as she prodded at me with her spoon.

I had to tell her. I needed to tell her. She should know what happened. But at that moment, I had no words. I opened my mouth to explain. To say something, anything. Instead of words, what came rising up was a fierce torrent of emotion.

“Is that ice in your hair?” Nel asked as she pointed at me. That was enough to trigger the outburst. It started low, a tone that left my throat, but it quickly grew into a weeping wail, like the keening of a banshee. Nel leaned back in her seat, staring at me with concern and horror.

The tone broke into a choking sob, and the tears came in a flood of their own. I lowered my head to hide my face in shame as I broke down. Tears spilled from my eyes to soak the lap of my pants, and some distant part of me thought that I should have worn those stupid trip pants because they were waterproof. I heard a chair pull from the table, and I looked up to find Ferris flipping the chair around to sit in it backward as he asked Nel what was wrong with me. I couldn’t hear her response, but I could tell by the shrug of her shoulders what she thought. This lack of understanding and empathy sent me into an irrational rage.

I flung the tray of food aside, gripped my horns, and yanked on them as I wailed. That brought the thought of Rose to the forefront of my mind. This emotional pain was unbearable. Like the gaping hole my father’s death left in me only fresher. But once one emotional memory bled pain, the other was quick to follow. Thoughts of my father and how I failed him battered my mind, mixing with the thoughts of my betrayal of Roserra and how she stabbed me back.

Stabbed. In the drowning mass of volcanic emotion, the word clung to me like an outreaching root caught on my shirt as I fell from a cliff. I latched onto that word and used it as an escape. Anything to escape this pain. Even getting stabbed by Thallos would have felt better than what this was. At least I knew physical pain.

Physical pain that’s what I needed, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I threw my head into the table, again and again and again. I drove my head into the table. The first few times, my horns blocked my desired pain, so I threw my head at an angle. THWAP! There was the pain I desired so badly, accompanied by stars in my vision. And I was right. Physical pain felt better than emotional pain. It was familiar.

I got two more good blows to my skull before I was pinned to my chair by two sets of hands. I fought the grips for only a moment before giving up and curling in on myself, pulling my knees to my chest. There, I gave into the body-quaking sobs. I lost touch with reality, falling into myself. I was dimly aware of something large picking me up and carrying me off.

When I calmed down, I uncurled my now stiff and locked limbs from around myself. I knew exactly where I was from the chemically clean smell that tinged the air. I sat up to find myself in the Medical center, atop a bed, Dr. Brooksheen standing over me with a hand on my back. It was obvious from the mental sensation that she had used Mind Myst to calm me down. I wiped my face with the back of one hand before checking the rest of the room. Sure enough, Nel and Ferris were standing in a corner, giving me deeply concerned looks. But what I didn’t expect to find was Mystagogue Thrasher trying to squeeze himself into the clearly too-small guest chair. When he noticed I was semi-coherent, he gave up the effort in favor of squatting on his haunches to be at eye level with me. But he was still a good three inches above me. 

“Young mister Maverick…” Thrasher started, “Iver.” he corrected in a more sincere voice. “What happened?” His rumbling tone was almost melodic.

“I-I…” I stammered. The doctor rested a calming hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, and she gave me a single nod coupled with the soft words, “Go ahead.”

I took a long breath and explained in as few words as possible.

“So let me get this straight.” came Nel from the corner. “You asked her out, then she flipped out on you. She then released wild magic, and that was enough for you to lose your mind and try to crack your skull?”

“Well, it sounds dacker when you say it like that.” I snipped.

“Ive’, it was totally insane. You lost your head over a turndown. Dude, it happens to everyone. That’s no reason to go thermonuclear.” Ferris stated.

“And what about the thing with Thallos and the packet?!” I harshly pointed out.

Ferris wobbled his head left and right in semi-agreement. “I’ll give you that it was a rotten move and grounds for you to deck her, which I really would not recommend, given the skill level difference. But not an actual reason for you to go total Thrope on yourself.”

Thrasher set his hand on my shoulder to catch my attention. When I turned back to him, he asked, “What about your training with Mystagogue Thallos? I understand that the training you’re going through is… a great deal of pressure.”

I gave a slow nod. “I guess I would say that it’s been stressful. But would that really contribute to this?”

Thrasher gave me a look that said I should know the answer. “I’m sure you’ve heard about his previous trainees.”

“How they moved on to become immensely successful, you mean?” 

“Those who didn’t pass the tests.” Thrasher hinted. When I still didn’t get it, he came out and told me, “He’s had students in the past have complete mental breaks to the point of total madness. We admitted to having looked into his methods, and they are, while not textbook, within set limits.”

A lightbulb went on in my head as I had the epiphany. I had heard about his student who went mad and killed some other students. Thrasher, Thallos, and Mysteriarch K were talking about it after my Myst-Blooded thing surfaced. How had I forgotten about that?

“I think it best you take a week off and maybe look into an emotional venting and coping mechanism in times of stress.” Recommended the doctor.