Her Right Mind by Navior | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Chapter 44: Can't Sleep, Can't Breathe

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Felitïa’s eyes shot open, and she sat up in bed. Lon and Nesh fell from where they were lying on her stomach and scrambled back to their feet.

Felitïa blinked a few times. How long had she been asleep?

Wait, she had slept?

Yes, she had actually slept!

At least, it felt like she had. She was still exhausted as hell, but the tiredness felt farther back, like it was willing to take a break and let her be functional for a little while. That was the main thing that made it clear she’d slept. Her head was...not exactly clear, but clearer than it had been.

She wondered again how long she’d slept. Knowing her luck, it would turn out to have just been a couple hours or so, but even that would be better than she’d expected. The window. She should check what time—

Nin-Akna.

Oh gods. What the hell was she going to do? She needed to explain, make Nin-Akna understand she was acting irrationally, that she hadn’t been thinking straight. Though Nin-Akna was suffering from the same problem. If she took the draught too, maybe she would wake up understanding. Yes, maybe that would…

Felitïa’s eyes fell on her scrip, sitting on the chair where she’d placed it. None of its contents still lay on the floor or her bed. Had she tidied them up? She didn’t remember doing that, but she also didn’t remember falling asleep.

She scrambled across the bed, disturbing Lon and Nesh again, and reached for the scrip. She riffled through it and found the second sleeping draught bottle.

It was still there.

But Nin-Akna had taken it, hadn’t she?

Had it just been a dream? That had to be the explanation, which was a great relief.

It didn’t feel like a dream though. It felt like a memory. Dreams could seem real while experiencing them, but after waking, it was generally clear they were dreams. There were all kinds of things that weren’t quite filled in or consistent. This wasn’t like that at all.

Which didn’t make sense.

Still, if it was a memory, the mess had been cleaned up, and the draught returned. That also didn’t make any sense. It had to have been a dream. Just a very vivid one.

Felitïa shook her head. She could ponder it later.

She hopped out of bed and went to the window, peered behind the curtains. It was light out and the sun was in the southeastern sky. It was morning. She’d slept all night. More than twelve hours possibly. This was incredible!

She should have sought out something like that sleeping draught right from the start. It might have solved a lot of problems.

Oh well. Best thing for her to do now was to get dressed, find Nin-Akna and give her the other bottle. Hopefully, she hadn’t missed breakfast yet, but even if she had, Nin-Akna wasn’t likely to have left the palace without her. She’d probably find her with Anita in that case.

She got ready as quickly as she could. It was nice having some energy during it all.

She hadn’t missed breakfast. When she arrived in the dining room, Lady Siba was already there, as was Danel Belone and Siba’s brother-in-law, Horaz.

Siba smiled as Felitïa took a seat. “You look so much better this morning, your Highness. Doesn’t she look better, Danel?”

Danel peered up from his plate. “Yes, Mother, much better.” He scowled at Felitïa.

“You took the draught, didn’t you? Didn’t I say it works wonders?”

Felitïa smiled. “You did, and yes, I took the draught. I’m feeling a lot better today.”

“You must let my handmaids do your hair and make-up, your Highness. Although you look much better, there are still dark bags under your eyes. Those will take a bit of time to go away, but my handmaids can hide them easily.”

“You’re very kind, my Lady. I might take you up on that for the New Year’s ball in two days.”

“I’m so happy to hear that, your Highness. I was afraid I might have to force you.” Siba laughed.

Felitïa laughed with her.

“You’re certainly in a good mood,” Horaz said.

“Just got a good night’s sleep for once,” Felitïa said. “How’s his Lordship doing, my Lady?”

Siba smiled. “Sleeping peacefully under the effects of a sleeping draught. I don’t expect he’ll join us for breakfast. What of Nin-Akna? Is she sleeping peacefully, too?”

Felitïa sighed. “Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to give her the draught yesterday, but I’ll give it to her today.”

Danel looked up at his mother. “You gave that savage one of Father’s sleeping draughts? They’re for him to help him recover, not to be handed out to everyone.”

Siba slapped his hand. “Be polite, Danel. Yes, I have her Highness two bottles. Your father was there at the time and approved. Her Highness is free to use those two bottles how she wishes.”

“Anita’s been spending too much time with that sa...Ninifin. Something should be done about it.”

“For what reason?” Siba asked.

“To free her of bad influences.” Danel looked directly at Felitïa when he said the last two words. Then he looked back down at his plate. Anger flooded from him.

Felitïa smiled, then immediately tried to hide it. Fortunately, both Siba and Horaz were looking at Danel and not her. Felitïa hadn’t noticed right away she had been sensing the feelings of people in the room as they had just been calm, background emotions. It was perhaps a bit strange that Danel’s intense anger should make her happy, but it was such a relief to have her telepathy back. It was confirmation that it really had been just exhaustion holding them at bay.

Siba tutted. “I admit it’s an unusual friendship, but I see no harm in it.”

“You really believe they’re just friends?” Danel muttered.

Siba paused while spreading some jam on her bread. “I’m not sure what you mean by that, but I maintain that I see no harm, and neither does your father. Anita rarely gets the opportunity to interact with young women her age. There are no others in this court. She deserves a chance to have friends.”

“She’s an Eloorin,” Danel sneered.

Siba finished spreading her jam. “Yes, but according to her Highness here, she is also in line for the Ninifin throne. That makes her a noble. It may not be what we’re used to, but we must treat her with diplomatic courtesy.”

“The throne of a realm Arnor doesn’t even recognise as having legitimacy,” Danel said. His anger was reaching the point where it was overshadowing Felitïa’s relief at having her abilities back.

“I confess I know little of these details,” Siba said. “However, your father has made the decision to treat Nin-Akna as a foreign dignitary, and we will do so. That includes you. Like your father, I’m getting tired of your continued disrespect, Danel. And by that, I don’t mean disrespect towards Nin-Akna. I mean disrespect towards your father. Disagreeing with him is one thing, but when he has made a decision, you will honour it regardless of whether you disagree. Am I clear?”

Danel stared at his plate. “Yes, Mother.”

“You will be Lord of Belone one day, Danel.”

“Not for many years yet, hopefully, Mother.” Despite his words, there was a brief flash of pleasure from Danel. Not surprising, Felitïa supposed.

Siba frowned, and for a moment, her sadness overwhelmed Danel’s anger. “I hope so, too, Danel, but we must be prepared for the worst. You may end up taking over sooner rather than later. When you are Lord, you will need to be able to look at someone like Nin-Akna and see past the tattoos. They may be horrid. They may produce shivers. But you need to look past them to the person beneath. Tattoos do not make for a bad person, do they, Horaz?”

“Hmm?” Horaz quickly finished chewing his food and swallowed. “Oh, yes, yes. I’ve only ever actually met one other woman with tattoos, but I’ve met many men with tattoos. They tended to be rough and a bit uncouth, but generally good people.”

“You’ve met another woman with tattoos?” Siba asked. “One of Nin-Akna’s people, perhaps?”

Horaz shook his head. “No, she was...um...well…” He reached for his wine and took a sip. “It doesn’t really matter. Let’s just leave it with the fact I’ve met another woman with tattoos, and she was a perfectly fine person, too.”

Siba stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. “There you go, Danel.”

The door opened, and Anita and Nin-Akna entered the room. They took seats beside Felitïa, Nin-Akna directly beside her and Anita on the other side of Nin-Akna.

“Good morning, Mother.” Anita bowed her head to Felitïa. “Your Highness. Danel. Uncle.”

“Good morning, Anita,” Siba said.

“We were just talking about you,” Danel said.

“Oh? Good things, I hope.” Anita smiled.

Siba shot a glare at Danel, then smiled back at Anita. “What else would it be, dear? I can’t imagine anything not good that could be said about you.”

Confusion ebbed from Anita. “That’s very kind of you to say, Mother.”

“Unlike some other people,” Danel said, his gaze pausing briefly on Nin-Akna.

Siba slapped his hand again, and Anita sighed. Irritation rose from Nin-Akna.

“Perhaps, my Lady,” Felitïa said to Siba, hoping to drive the conversation somewhere else, “you could tell us about the plans for New Year’s Eve.”

Siba smiled, and relief flooded from her. “Of course, your Highness. I’d be delighted.”

Things went smoothly after that. A few more people arrived for breakfast, which also helped drive the conversation in ways that avoided Danel making more offensive comments towards Nin-Akna. Thankfully, he was the first to leave, and tensions then dropped a lot. Felitïa worried, though, what would happen if Lord Belone died before she and Nin-Akna were finished in the city.

Eventually, Felitïa asked Nin-Akna if she was ready to go, and they both excused themselves. Anita and Nin-Akna clasped hands briefly before Nin-Akna stood up, and affection between them flooded Felitïa’s senses. At least something was going well for Nin-Akna here.

As they made their way through the rooms and halls of the palace, Felitïa took out the sleeping draught and gave it to Nin-Akna. “Lady Belone game me two bottles of this yesterday. I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to give you one then, but it really does work. I took one last night and slept wonderfully for the first time in...gods know how long.”

Nin-Akna smiled. “Thank you.”

Felitïa paid close attention to what feelings and emotions she could detect from Nin-Akna. There was no hint of any kind of anger or recognition regarding the draught. It seemed last night really had been just a dream.

“Unfortunately, the two bottles were all she could spare at the moment, but she has promised to ask her apothecary today to make extra. She should be able to get us more in a few days. I talked to Angelida yesterday, and she said it’s a very strong mixture, so—”

“Angelida?” Nin-Akna said. “The one who took over your teacher’s shop? You finally went to see her?”

Felitïa smiled and her cheeks warmed. “Yeah. I guess I finally got desperate enough.”

Nin-Akna smiled too. “How’d it go?”

“Well, it was very brief. She saw how out of it I was, and sent me back here, telling me to get some sleep. She was very...direct, which seems to be her way.”

“I think, with you, direct is necessary. No offence.”

Felitïa smiled. “None taken. You’re probably right. Anyway, the draught is very strong, so we should be careful about using it too much. We don’t want to become dependent on it. But I’m hoping if we use it occasionally over the next couple weeks, we’ll start sleeping normally on our own again.”

Nin-Akna frowned. “Are you back to thinking this is all natural and not something that’s been done to us?”

Felitïa sighed and shook her head. “No, not really. Just trying to be optimistic. There’s almost certainly something else going on, but hopefully, if the draught helps us sleep, we’ll be better able to figure out what’s going on. I was becoming incredibly paranoid about everything.”

Nin-Akna shrugged. “Yeah, me too, though honestly, in this place, I think I’d be paranoid even if I were better rested.”

Oh, I also had a very vivid dream last night, which might have been an effect of the draught, so just to warn you that you might experience something similar when you take yours.”

“What sort of dream?”

Felitïa grimaced. “You...you got very angry at me and said you were going back to Ninifin, and that you’d kill me if I tried to stop you. It was so real that when I first woke up this morning, I thought it had actually happened.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, and try not to kill you if I get angry at you.” Nin-Akna grinned.

They passed through the palace doors into the cold, snow-swept palace grounds. A light, bitter wind whipped up some of the snow from the ground, but otherwise, it was a clear day. The sun shone brightly, and the sky was mostly cloudless.

“Nin-Akna,” Felitïa said, “I want to apologise for...well...for a lot of things. I know I can be—”

“Irritating? Controlling? A pain in the ass?” Nin-Akna looked at her and smiled.

Felitïa smiled back. “Yeah, those things. I want to blame it all on the exhaustion, but I can’t really. Lack of sleep has brought out the worst in me, but the fact is, those things are in me. They’re part of me. I have only myself to blame, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Nin-Akna said. “I appreciate that. I really do.”

“I know it’s tough for you in the palace.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“I’m glad you’ve found solace in Anita.”

Nin-Akna looked away. “Yeah, she’s great. I like her. A lot.”

“I know.”

Nin-Akna looked at her and rolled her eyes. “Of course you do.”

Felitïa chuckled. “I don’t need my telepathy to notice that. In fact, today is the first day in ages I’ve actually had my telepathy. I’ve been so exhausted, it hasn’t been working.”

Nin-Akna’s eyes narrowed. “At all? I thought you said something about not telling the difference between happy and sad?”

“It was worse than that. I just didn’t want to say anything. I was getting really paranoid.”

“I guess I can understand that. Where to first? Agernon’s or the Hall of Knowledge?”

“Agernon’s,” Felitïa said. “I want to talk to Corvinian. Apologise again now that I’m thinking a little straighter than I was yesterday. Oh, that reminds me. The whole fighting training…”

Nin-Akna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll stop, but I honestly think he—”

“No, it’s all right.” Felitïa sighed. She didn’t quite see it Nin-Akna’s way here, but she needed to make some concessions. “He probably should learn to defend himself. We’ve seen that the Volgs can find a way to nullify his powers. We can’t rely entirely on those. And he wants to learn. Just take it easy. Don’t go too fast. Try not to—”

“Felitïa, I’m grateful you’ve changed your mind, but don’t ruin it by trying to tell me how to train him. I know what I’m doing far more than you do.”

Felitïa nodded. “You’re right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I know. And it’s okay. I just need a little space to breathe, okay?”

Felitïa nodded again. “I understand. And I’ll do better. I promise.”

‘You’ve said that before.”

“I know, and I’m sorry about that, too. I really will try to do better.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s go, okay?”

Irritation was rising in Nin-Akna again. It was time to stop pushing this line of conversation before things got worse.

Felitïa nodded and they continued on their way to Agernon’s.

* * * * *

Lord Belone’s palace was much smaller than the Royal Palace and less extravagant, but that didn’t mean it didn’t have its own extravagances. A case in point was Lord Belone’s personal apartments. Unlike in the Royal Palace, Belone was the only noble here who had a suite of private rooms, but it rivalled most of the ones in the Royal Palace. The lounge where Felitïa stood waiting now had three large arched windows along one wall, their wooden frames carved with designs of fish and other sea life, plus an abundance of water fowl. Paintings adorned the opposite wall, while a massive fireplace and mantel dominated one of the remaining walls. A portrait of a man Felitïa didn’t recognise, though who bore a familial resemblance to Belone, hung over the mantel. Along the length of the remaining wall ran a table covered in all manner of glasses, bottles, figurines, and statuettes. There didn’t seem to be a pattern to what Belone had collected there. From the ceiling hung a massive chandelier.

Siba came into the room and curtsied. “Your Highness, you look stunning. Simply stunning.”

Felitïa curtsied in reply. “Thank you, my Lady.” She had just spent several hours—five or six at least—sitting or standing in place while Lady Belone’s handmaids had done her hair and make-up, and then dressed her. She now sported the most elaborate hairdo she had ever worn in her life, and she could barely move her head without feeling its weight and worrying that she was going to ruin it somehow. They had curled her hair and then used a wire contraption and hair extensions to put her hair into an elaborate chignon decorated with a ring of pearls at the back of her head, while also letting her hair hang in loose, long curls at the sides of her head. Those curls were also adorned with ribbons.

You are a true beauty, your Highness. You should let yourself be done up like this more often. Trust me, you would not need to remain single for much longer.”

Felitïa tried to smile in as friendly a manner as she could. “To be honest, my Lady, I’m not looking to be married.”

Siba tutted. “Yes, Anita tells me much the same. You young women these days. It’s the men too, I suppose. Your brothers and sisters have set quite the example by waiting so long to marry. All the young people today are trying to copy you. Come. My husband will see you now.”

Siba led Felitïa into Lord Belone’s bedchamber. It was a small, much less ostentatious room than the rest of his apartments. Belone himself sat propped up in his bed.

“Feo, her Highness is here,” Siba said.

“Forgive me for not bowing,” Belone said, “but I cannot easily get out of bed at the moment.”

Felitïa curtsied. “No need for apologies, your Lordship. You’re in no shape for pointless formalities. How are you feeling?”

Belone chuckled. “I many not look it, but believe it or not, I’m feeling quite a bit better. Far from perfect, mind you, but compared to how I’ve felt the last couple days, it’s a huge improvement.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Felitïa said.

“Feo,” Siba said, “just because you can’t bow doesn’t mean you can’t show other courtesies. Doesn’t her Highness look incredible?”

Belone took his wife’s hand in his. “Of course, my dear. How rude of me.” He looked back at Felitïa. “My wife is keen I complement the skill of her handmaids.” He chuckled again. “But she is right. You do look divine, your Highness. Absolutely beautiful.”

Felitïa got the impression she was going to have to put up with these kinds of half-true statements all night. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she smiled anyway. “Thank you, your Lordship. You are too kind. What is it you wished to see me about?”

Belone smiled and patted his wife’s hand. “You see, my dear? Straight to business just as I said she would.” He motioned to two servants standing in wait in the room. “Leave us.”

The servants bowed and left.

Belone was silent for several moments. Then Siba handed him a bottle of medication. She had already removed the stopper. Belone drank it down. “To ensure I don’t break into a coughing fit during our talk.”

Felitïa nodded.

Belone took a deep breath. “What I am about to say is not easy for me. For neither of us. Siba and I have discussed this in great detail the past couple of days. When I die, by Arnorin law, lordship of this province will pass to my first-born legitimate child. That would be Danel.”

“I am aware of this, your Lordship,” Felitïa said.

Belone nodded. “And you are certainly aware that he is not ready for this.”

Felitïa nodded. “That too.”

“It pains both Siba and I, but we need to ensure this does not happen yet. Gods willing, I will live through this illness and there will be nothing to worry about. I can live to a proper old age and by then, again gods willing, Danel will be ready. But I fear I will not live much longer. My doctors tell me they cannot guarantee me more than a couple more weeks, so I need to take action in that time in case the worst happens. There are only two ways I can deny Danel his inheritance. One is to disown him completely and banish him from the family. Neither Siba nor I wish to do this. We may be disappointed in him, but he is still our son.” He looked into his wife’s eyes and they stared in silence for a moment.

“And the second option?” Felitïa asked.

“I can have the inheritance formally transferred from him to Anita. To do that, I need a witness from the clergy and a royal witness as well. I have already arranged for a clergy member, and I would like to ask you to be my royal witness.”

“Because you truly want me, or because I’m the only royalty available?”

“Truthfully? Both. I know we don’t always see eye to eye, Felitïa, and I know I’ve done things you haven’t forgiven me for, but that is irrelevant at this time. You’re an intelligent woman—one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. You know as well as I do that Danel taking over would be disastrous. He would certainly arrest your friend, Nin-Akna, possibly causing an international incident. He will likely even arrest you, using your banishment from Arnor City as a shield.”

“You’re right, your Lordship,” Felitïa said. “I share your concerns and I will happily be your witness.”

Belone coughed a little, then smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. The documents are already being drafted. The day after tomorrow, we will meet here again with Father Brayan, the witness from the clergy. The three of us will sign the documents, and it will be done. I hope it goes without saying, Danel must not learn of this beforehand. He would probably make such a fuss I would have to disown him completely.”

“You don’t have to worry, your Lordship,” Felitïa said. “I have no intention of telling him anything about this.”

“Thank you. Don’t tell Anita either, or Nin-Akna. It’s not that I don’t trust her. I have no doubt at all that she would never tell Danel. However, she might let things slip to Anita, and Anita has a soft heart towards her brother. She might tell him in an effort to convince him to promise to change. It’s in all our best interests not to give her that opportunity before the job is done.”

Felitïa took a deep breath. Keeping secrets from Nin-Akna while she was in the middle of regaining the young Ninifin’s trust was not her first choice. It wasn’t a choice of any kind she’d want to make. But it was only for a couple days. And it was for Nin-Akna’s safety. “You have my word. I won’t tell anyone else about this.”

“Thank you, your Highness,” Siba said. “We truly appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, my Lady and your Lordship. I know this can’t be an easy decision for you, but I believe you’ve made the right one. I also believe Anita will make a far better ruler for this province.”

Belone chuckled. “I don’t believe she’s ready for it yet, either. However, she at least will be willing to listen to her mother’s advice.”

“And she will learn quickly,” Siba said.

Belone nodded. “Yes, she will. She will be a good ruler in the end. She will be softer than I have ever been, but perhaps that is needed.” He coughed some more.

Siba rose from his side. “Now your Highness, if you don’t mind, my husband could use some more rest.”

Felitïa curtsied. “Of course, my Lady. Can I expect to see you at the ball tonight, your Lordship?”

Belone coughed again. “If everything goes according to plan, I’ll make a brief appearance. I don’t expect to stay more than a few minutes, but it’s important I show my face.”

“Then I look forward to seeing you there, your Lordship.”

“And I you, your Highness.”

Felitïa curtsied again, then followed Siba out of the room.

“Thank you so much for this,” Siba said in the lounge. “We are both more grateful than words can express.”

“Words aren’t needed,” Felitïa said. “What you are doing is enough.”

Siba lowered her head. “Still, without you, we would not be able to do it.”

Felitïa smiled at her. “My involvement is just my way of saying thanks, and I’m happy to do it.”

Siba curtsied. “I must return to my husband, but I will see you at the ball in a few hours, your Highness. Thank you again.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Siba curtsied again and returned to Belone’s bedchamber.

Felitïa headed out of Belone’s apartments, but stumbled partway to the door. She caught and steadied herself. That was weird. Why had she stumbled?

Her head had clouded for a moment, though she’d barely noticed.

She was overtired again. The night after taking the sleeping draught, she hadn’t slept well again, though it had not been quite as bad as most of the nights prior to taking the draught. Then last night, she also slept poorly, but her tiredness was nowhere near what it had been. Why had her mind clouded like that?

The Room in her head seemed normal. She could make out the presences of the nearby servants, even Lord and Lady Belone. Off to the side was the row of people beginning with Zandrue and ending with...someone shrouded from view. Above/not above them was the Staff. It had a presence here even though the real Staff was at Agernon’s. Its presence here never disappeared. It just went quiet. The black walls formed as she willed them, and then disappeared when she dismissed them. In the distance were the grey walls.

She dismissed the Room. She needed to go somewhere, sit down, and meditate—examine the inner workings of her mind in exacting detail. Something strange was happening, and she needed to find out what.

No. She couldn’t sit properly in the gown she was wearing, and it would be hugely disrespectful to Siba to remove it. She would have to meditate standing up. That was fine. She could do that.

Provided her focus and concentration were up to it. But if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be up to her meditating from a seated position either.

Except maybe with the prayer beads. She still hadn’t gotten round to using those.

Gods, even with that one good night of sleep, she was still scatterbrained. Not surprising. She was going to need a lot more than one good night to recover properly.

She needed to see Angelida again, too. Though Angelida had said she’d need a few days, and it had only been three. She would go tomorrow or the day after.

For now, she had a couple of hours before the ball. She would go to her room and try to search her mind for signs of tampering.

* * * * *

The ball was quieter than others Felitïa had been to—not that she had been to many balls before. The last one she’d been to was the one on Scovese before the Volgs had declared war—the one where she and Maneshka had danced and then gone on to make love for the first time. Tonight wasn’t going to be like that night, that was for sure.

She hadn’t thought about Maneshka in quite some time now, not since… She couldn’t remember the last time she’d thought about her. Felitïa felt a bit guilty about that. Whenever she did think about Maneshka, though, she missed her. She wondered what Maneshka was doing now.

Nin-Akna approached, carrying two goblets of wine. The young Ninifin was a sight to behold. She was wearing a vibrant green gown with red beading along the neckline and over the bodice, the beading thinning out towards the waist. The sleeves were very short and sat just below the shoulders, leaving her tattooed neck, shoulders, and most of her arms bare. A thin, red belt wrapped around her waist and accentuated just how much wider the green skirts spread out from there. Nin-Akna had to lean a little to pass a wine goblet to Felitïa.

“I hate this outfit,” Nin-Akna muttered. “What’s the point of these wide skirts? I can barely reach anything.”

“Sometimes, I think that’s part of the point,” Felitïa said.

“If a fight breaks out here, I will die.” Nin-Akna took a gulp of wine.

“I don’t think we have to worry about a fight breaking out.”

Nin-Akna took another drink of wine. “I’m always worried about a fight breaking out.”

“You didn’t have to wear the dress.”

Nin-Akna groaned. “I promised Anita. It’s made her really happy. She says I look good in it.”

“You do,” Felitïa said.

“Everybody else still avoids me.”

Felitïa sighed and took a sip of wine. “I wish a dress could change that.” She smiled. “Lady Belone told me that if dressed like this more often, I wouldn’t remain single very long. Apparently, men will be clinging to my arms or something.”

“I haven’t seen you dancing,” Nin-Akna said.

Felitïa shook her head. “Nope. I think my reputation has outweighed any effect of the dress and hair. And honestly, I’m thankful for it.”

Nin-Akna grinned. “Don’t blame you for it.”

“You’re in a good mood though,” Felitïa said. “How have you been sleeping?”

“The night I took the sleeping potion was amazing. I didn’t even have those vivid dreams you warned me of. Last night wasn’t as great, but it wasn’t too bad. I’m feeling a little more like myself. Having Anita around has helped too.” Nin-Akna smiled, then quickly looked away as embarrassment flooded from her.

Anita approached them and curtsied to Felitïa. “Doesn’t she look wonderful, your Highness?”

Felitïa returned the curtsy. “She does indeed, my Lady.”

“Please don’t embarrass me,” Nin-Akna said. Felitïa wasn’t sure if she was talking to Felitïa, Anita, or both of them. Probably both.

Anita reached for Nin-Akna’s hand. “Come, Akna. I want to introduce you to a few people.”

“They’re going to hate me,” Nin-Akna said, but she took Anita’s hand.

“No, they won’t. I’ll make them like you. Come on!”

Nin-Akna sighed and they headed off to mingle.

Felitïa mostly stayed where she was for the next while. She move around a little bit, talked to a couple of the nobles when she couldn’t otherwise avoid it. Siba spoke to her at length, but otherwise, Felitïa avoided speaking too much with anyone.

When she could, she sneaked a peak into the Room in her head. Back when she was sleeping properly, she had reached the point where she could comfortably use the Room while maintaining full attention and interaction with the real world. Not so anymore.

But she was still worried about that clouding of her mind earlier.

She had spent a couple hours searching through every part of her head and had found nothing, and there had been no repeat of the cloudiness. Nevertheless, it bothered her. Perhaps it was only a fluke, but she doubted it. Maybe she was being paranoid again, but she doubted it this time—or more accurately, she absolutely was being paranoid, but with justification.

No clues presented themselves, though.

Lord Belone arrived partway into the evening and stayed for ten minutes or so. He was not looking good and sweated the whole time. He left during a coughing fit. Felitïa hoped he would be okay—at least well enough to survive two more days so his declaration could be signed. Earlier, he had said his doctors had guaranteed him at least a couple more weeks. She hoped they were right.

There had been no sign of Danel Belone so far. Felitïa didn’t particularly mind his not being there, but she did worry a little that, if he wasn’t here, where was he and what was he up to?

Another person missing was Plavistalorik, although that didn’t really surprise Felitïa. A ball didn’t seem the kind of event the Isyar would show up to. Then again…

Plavistalorik was there. She was standing in a corner of the ballroom surveying the scene.

Felitïa wondered when she had arrived. She hadn’t seen the Isyar come in. Then again, there were a lot of people here she hadn’t specifically seen come in. Still, Plavistalorik was more noticeable.

Felitïa headed in that direction. Of all the people here, Plavistalorik was one person she actually was interested in talking to.

Plavistalorik watched her approach. “Princess Felitïa, how can I help you?”

Felitïa curtsied. “I was just hoping for someone to talk to.”

Plavistalorik looked away from her and returned to surveying the room. “I would have thought my reputation would make me an unlikely conversation partner.”

Felitïa stood beside her and gazed over the crowd as well. “I’ll admit you’ve never seemed the talkative type, but I also didn’t expect to see you at an event like this, so I thought maybe you’d surprise me.”

“Lord Belone likes it if I put in a short appearance at official functions. So I do. That is all.”

“I understand. If you’d rather I go away, I will.”

Plavistalorik continued to watch the room. “You are welcome to do what you wish.”

“Plavistalorik, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for some time.”

The Isyar said nothing in response.

Felitïa took a deep breath. “When my friends and I were here last year, Jorvanultumn told me you had indicated to him that you were in some kind of trouble. Can I ask what that was about? Are you here under some kind of coercion or something else?”

Plavistalorik turned to face her. “Something else? What kind of something else?”

“I don’t know,” Felitïa said. “You tell me.”

Plavistalorik tilted her head. “Interesting response.” She turned back to watching the room.

Felitïa shrugged. “That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Correct.” The Isyar was very good at keeping her emotions at bay, as Felitïa was receiving nothing from her. Either that or she just didn’t have any emotions.

This was clearly not getting her anywhere. “Thank you for your time. I just want you to know, if there is something wrong...if you do need help, I’m willing to do what I can. You just have to ask.”

Plavistalorik turned her head to look at her. “Your offer is kind, but you can give me no help.”

Felitïa curtsied to her, and the Isyar went back to looking at the revellers. Felitïa moved away.

It had been worth a try.

Plavistalorik left not long after that. Felitïa continued to stay near the edges, talking to occasional people. Horaz Belone asked her to dance at one point, and she agreed. She received a laugh from Nin-Akna after that. The laughter cut out when Horaz asked Nin-Akna to dance.

“Oh, go on,” Anita urged. “You’ll have fun.”

There was sheer terror flowing from Nin-Akna, but she took Horaz’s hand and let him lead her to the dance floor. She was clearly inexperienced, but she did a good job picking up on the steps.

See? That wasn’t so bad,” Anita said when Nin-Akna returned.

“I suppose not,” Nin-Akna said. “It would be better if I could move more freely though. This dress is very restricting.”

“So you keep saying,” Anita said. “You just have to wear it for a couple more hours. It’s nearly midnight. New Year’s. After that, people will start heading to bed and we can leave.”

“We could always leave early,” Nin-Akna said.

Anita shook her head. “At least one family member has to be here.”

Felitïa looked around. “What happened to your mother?” She hadn’t seen Siba leave, but there was no sign of her.

“She’s gone to tend to Father,” Anita said. “He was having another coughing fit apparently. And gods know where Danel is. So I’m officially the host at the moment. I have to stay. However, Akna, since it’s hard to tell in here exactly when midnight hits, I will declare it as early as I can get away with. How’s that?”

Nin-Akna smiled. “That’ll do. Why do your people start a new day in the middle of the night anyway?”

Anita shrugged. “I have no idea.”

The next couple hours passed slowly. Felitïa began getting more requests for dances. Horaz dancing with her must have been the catalyst. She turned down as many as she felt she could diplomatically get away with—which meant not many.

The same did not happen with Nin-Akna, who was clearly disappointed by it even though she didn’t say anything. She and Anita did dance together quite a bit though.

Eventually, Anita signalled the small orchestra to stop playing, and clinked her glass multiple times until people near her quietened down, and then people near them, and so on until the entire ballroom was quiet.

“My Lords and Ladies,” Anita called out, “my father and mother apologise that they cannot be here at his moment. As you know, my father is currently ill. However, it is my pleasure to announce a new year to you all. As we enter this two thousand three hundred thirty-third year since the end of the Great War with the Volgs, we pray that the threat of a new war will turn out to be an empty one. Instead, we hope this year will be peaceful and fruitful.” She raised her glass above her head. “My Lords and Ladies, a very happy new year to you all.”

Everyone in the room raised their glasses and goblets as well, and they all drank.

Anita reached out her hand to Nin-Akna, who took it. Anita pulled her in close, the wide skirts of their gowns pressing and bending against each other as the wire frames tried to resist. The two kissed. It was a fairly lengthy, passionate one, too.

Gasps spread across the room, along with the sound of several glasses shattering.

Felitïa grinned.

Anita and Nin-Akna left together after that, while the orchestra started playing again, and most of the guests muttered and gossiped amongst themselves.

Felitïa decided this was a good time to leave, too, though Horaz approached her on the way out. “Quite the display,” he said.

Felitïa smirked. “You could call it that.”

He laughed. “Young people these days, am I right?”

Felitïa raised her eyebrows. “I like to think I’m still a young person, too. I’m only seven years older than Nin-Akna. I admit I don’t know Anita’s exact age, but I’m pretty sure it’s close to the same as Nin-Akna’s.”

Horaz laughed some more. “I never meant to imply you aren’t. I hope they’ll be okay.”

“People will gossip, I suppose,” Felitïa said. “They might give them a hard time, but I’m just glad to see Nin-Akna happy. She has so little happiness in her life at the moment.”

Horaz sighed. “I suppose. It’s just...my brother’s not well. He and Siba try to present an optimistic face, but...I don’t think he’s going to live much longer. If Danel takes over, Anita and your friend...well, I don’t want to imagine.”

Felitïa bit her lip. She wished she could tell him about the plans to prevent Danel taking over. Just a couple more days, she reminded herself. Feodor Belone just had to survive that long. “We can only hope for the best.”

Horaz nodded. “Too true.”

“If you’ll excuse me, my Lord, I’d like to try to get some sleep.”

“Of course. Goodnight, your Highness.” He bowed.

Felitïa curtsied. “Goodnight, my Lord.”

She hurried back to her room.

She was glad to get out of the gown, but even gladder to remove the wires, pearls, and ribbons from her hair. Lying down in bed with Lon and Nesh lying on her chest brought a great sense of relief.

Sleep didn’t come, though.

Damn.

There was too much to think about. Too much to worry about. What if Lord Belone didn’t survive two more days? Why had her mind clouded over? Why was sleeping so hard? What the hell was wrong with her?

A couple hours or so later, someone knocked at her door. Felitïa didn’t respond immediately and the knock came again. She lifted Nesh off her. Lon had already moved somewhere else. Nesh squealed in protest, then scurried away. Then she rose, pulled on a night gown over her shift, and headed to the door. The knock came again.

“Who is it?”

“Message, your Highness.”

The voice was familiar. Felitïa was pretty certain it was one of the servant boys who carried messages through the palace. She opened the door a crack. It was the boy—an Eloorin boy about thirteen years of age. Felitïa had received a few messages via him before.

But at this time of night?

Fear cascaded from the boy. Felitïa stumbled, but caught herself on the door.

He bowed. “Apologies for the late hour, your Highness, but Plavistalorik has asked that you join her in the library. She says it’s urgent.” He was doing a good job hiding his fear visually, but he couldn’t know she could detect his feelings.

Felitïa nodded. “Thank you. Tell her I’ll be there as soon as I’m dressed.”

The boy bowed again, and Felitïa closed the door.

Something was wrong.

She dressed quickly.

This was possibly a trap. If the boy—Lucas she believed his name was—had been forced to deliver a false message, there could be anyone waiting for her in the library. But who? Danel? Darkers? Whoever was responsible for her inability to sleep?

She should get help before going.

Nin-Akna.

Except Nin-Akna would be with Anita right now. Was it right to intrude on them? It was an emergency after all. Though admittedly, she didn’t really know that for sure. Plavistalorik could be intimidating and maybe the boy frightened easily. She might have used excessive coercion to get him to come to Felitïa’s door so late at night.

Felitïa sighed. Worrying about a trap could just be her paranoia again, and Nin-Akna deserved some comfort right now. If she could count on her spellcasting, she would be far less worried, but her concentration right now was only marginally better than it had been.

Whatever. She had to take the risk. If Plavistalorik really had sent for her, it was important she go. This might finally provide some answers.

She hurried to the library.

* * * * *

Akna ran her fingers through Anita’s hair. Anita stirred, but didn’t wake. Akna smiled.

She couldn’t sleep again, but at the moment, she didn’t care. She hadn’t had sex in ages, and she hadn’t had sex that good for an even longer time—not since the last time she and Chica had lain together, which seemed a lifetime ago, long before they went to Scovese.

Thinking about Chica wasn’t bringing visions of her death either, which Akna wanted to revel in. She could close her eyes and not see Chica’s face explode, not see any of her friends die. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t falling asleep. She was happy for just this much. She could worry about lack of sleep another time.

So she just lay there awhile. Anita occasionally stirred a little, rolled over, rolled back again, put her arms around Akna, rolled over yet again. Akna just watched the whole time, occasionally stroked Anita’s hair, touched her skin, kissed her on the couple occasions she opened her eyes for a moment.

Akna wasn’t sure just how much time passed. It had to be getting close to dawn, though. At some point or other today, exhaustion was going to hit her, but for now, she was still wide awake and content.

There were voices in the hallway. Yes, it had to be approaching dawn. The morning servants were probably getting up.

Except the voices in the hall were yelling. There was a cry and more yells.

Akna sat up and nudged Anita.

Anita groaned sleepily. “Mm?”

Akna nudged her again. “Something’s happening. Wake up.”

Anita opened her eyes, then sat up. “What the hell?”

The yells outside were louder. “Open it! Do it now! I said open it, bitch!”

Akna reached for her spear, which was leaning against the wall beside the bed. And Anita had mocked her for keeping it near her, even while they were fucking.

The bedroom door opened and one of Anita’s handmaids ran into the room. She fell to her knees. “My Lady! I’m sorry! They forced me. They’re everywhere. They—”

A man in pinkish metal armour with a helmet and red cape marched into the room, a sword already drawn. He rammed it through the handmaid’s back.

Anita screamed and Akna leapt from the bed, raised her spear into attack position.

Danel Belone walked into the room. “Good gods, savage, you’re naked.”

Akna gave him a mocking smile. “Yeah, I’ve been fucking your sister. That usually involves being naked, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?”

Danel sneered. “Your insults mean nothing to me, savage.”

“Danel, what the hell are you doing?” Anita had pulled her knees up against her chest, and the sheets of the bed over them.

“Establishing a proper order in this place, starting by arresting this savage.” Danel nodded to the armoured man, who moved forward.

Akna levelled her spear at him. He didn’t stop, so she stepped back, then thrust her spear straight into the gap in his armour at the shoulder of his sword arm. He cried out, dropping his sword. She yanked the spear back and he cried out again.

Two more soldiers wearing the same style armour marched into the room.

“Danel, stop this!” Anita yelled. “You can’t do this! Where’s Father?”

“Dead. He died in his sleep during the night.”

Anita shook and pulled the blankets up more. “What? But…”

“I’m in charge now,” Danel said, “and there are going to be a few changes.”

The injured man backed away behind the two new arrivals who stepped forward.

“You can’t win, savage,” Danel said. “Surrender now, and you won’t be harmed. You’ll be treated well until your execution tomorrow.”

Akna rolled her eyes. “Like that’s a great incentive.”

Danel grinned. “Then the Red Knights will kill you now.”

“Red Knights?” Anita screamed. “You brought Bloods here? Father always denied them entry!”

“Like I said, I’m in charge now. Now, stay out of this or I’ll have you arrested too. Your disgusting behaviour with this savage is more than enough reason.”

The two Red Knights advanced on Akna, attempted to flank her. She stabbed at the nearest one, again straight at the joints in his armour. She pierced his thigh. As he cried out, she withdrew the spear, spun it around and jabbed at the second. He managed to avoid the thrust, came in with his sword high. She jumped aside and ran the spear through his armpit. She pulled the spear back out and he fell aside, screaming in pain. Blood from his nearly severed arm gushed down.

Akna stabbed again at the first one, who was trying to get within her reach. He knocked the spear shaft aside with his sword. She scrambled backwards against the bed. Then she thrust her spear under his helmet and through his chin.

Anita screamed again. Akna glanced at her. Tears streamed down her face.

“I’m sorry” Akna said. She pulled her spear free, letting the heavy body drop to the floor.

Two more, these ones holding shields, had entered the room. Behind them, another man entered. He was dressed in the same pinkish armour, but he had not drawn a sword and he was carrying his helmet at his side. His large nose was crooked, and two long scars ran down his face, one on each side and crossing along his chin.

“My apologies, your Lordship,” the scarred man said. “I’m disgusted that my men have not been able to handle one naked savage.”

The two shield-bearing Knights linked their shields together and advanced towards Akna.

“Enough!” Anita jumped off the bed and ran between the Knights and Akna. “Leave her alone!”

The Knights paused in their advance, and the scarred man looked to Danel. “Your Lordship? What should we do about your sister?”

Danel frowned and looked away. “Arrest her. Throw her in a cell until she comes to her senses.”

“No!” Anita yelled. “You can’t do this!”

Danel sighed. “If she resists, kill her if you have to, but try to subdue her.”

Akna dropped her spear. “No! I surrender! Just don’t harm Anita!”

Anita looked back at her, more tears streaming down her face. “No, Akna, they’ll kill you.”

Akna wiped a tear of her own. “There’s no choice. I can’t let them harm you. I wouldn’t be able to take them all anyway.”

The two Red Knights unlinked their shields, and rushed past either side of Anita. They grabbed Akna’s arms.

The scarred man stepped forward, took Anita’s arm, and twisted it behind her back. Anita cried out. Akna tried to move to her aid, but the two Knights held her fast.

“Be gentle with her,” Danel said. “She may have abhorrent affection for the savage, but I don’t think she’s beyond redemption.”

Anita spat at the scarred man’s face. “Redemption? I’m not the one who needs redemption.”

Danel looked at her, grimaced, and looked away again. “Good gods, put some clothes on.”

“You killed my handmaid!”

“She had the gall to dress the savage like a noblewoman. She got her reward. You’ll have to dress yourself today.” Danel looked to the scarred man. “Let her get dressed, but watch that she doesn’t make a run for it.”

The scarred man nodded and let go of Anita. “And the savage?”

Danel shrugged. “The clothes she wears make little difference. Just throw her in a cell as she is. It’ll make any thoughts she has of escape even harder.”

The scarred man motioned to the Knights holding Akna. They dragged her towards the door.

“I’m sorry, Anita,” Akna said as they dragged her past.

Anita strode up to Danel and slapped him. “Fuck you, Danel! Fuck you!”

Akna didn’t get to see or hear what happened next, as the Knights dragged her through the door and then another Knight in the hall slammed it shut behind them.

Oddly enough, Akna was feeling sleepy. She almost thought she might be able to fall asleep while the Knights dragged her naked through the palace.

Funny that.

She should have known better than to think she could ever experience happiness again.


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